I'm feeling very uncharitable atm. A tad menopausal maybe. A little tense-nervous-headachy. Seeding has not started and I've had people living in my house for six weeks now and we haven't even turned a sod, sod it. Where's the rain?
I was brought up to be polite and welcoming with visitors but after thirty years of having people in my house at seeding and harvest I'm getting a bit toey. A bit nit picky. A bit totally unreasonable and intolerant. A bit 'they're coming to take me away, ha-ha'. Pass the Valium, please.
I mean how can one workman go through so many toilet rolls in a week for God's sake? What is he doing with it in there? Though come to think of it he's in there lengthily three times a day. THREE TIMES A BLOODY DAY! Hasn't he heard of Morning Glory? That's when you do it....not Afternoon Ablute and Evening Empty as well.
I should have smelt a rat the first night when I cooked home made hamburgers for everyone. Generally one of my hamburgers satisfies a man of all descriptions. Great big bun, bacon, egg, cheese, beetroot, grated carrot, huge beef hamburger, lettuce, lashings of tomato sauce....the works. Being polite, after we'd finished our burgers, and seeing there was a burger left in the pan, I asked "Would you like anymore?" The reply was."Yes, please, could I have two more?"
Two more? THREE burgers in one sitting? This man has an appetite. He hasn't stopped eating since he got here. He can eat a massive box of NutriGrain and six litres of milk in three days. The poor lad has taken to buying supplementary bags of chips and Dorritos, and the Hill Plains mice love him for it. I say, politely, "Please do not leave open bags of chips in your bedroom as the mice will find it and shit everywhere. (I am getting a little loose tongued in my anxiety)" I say this every week....and yet, as the good Bible says, 'and some seeds fell on stoney ground'. *sigh*
But back to the bog.....it doesn't matter whether you fold or scrunch for God's sake, whatever you do it still gets the job done (ouch! terrible pun)....but Lordy, let's have some restraint with the amount you pull off the roll!
Enough said. Get a grip on yourself woman. It's only for a few weeks says the husband. Maybe....but six weeks in and with no rain to get the tractor wheels turning I'm feeling a bit precious and down in the dumps. Things can only get worse.....so stay tuned.